Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
