Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
