I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
