SEEEEXXX PLEASE
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
