i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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