Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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