I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Who did Billy Mays play for?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
