New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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