There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
