You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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