Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i need some magic done to my vagina
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
