I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
