Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
