I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
