I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
