Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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