Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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