and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
