Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
