Already got asked if we're dating
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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