A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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