My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
