He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i need some magic done to my vagina
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
