hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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