We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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