Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
