We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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