Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
