Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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