Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
