Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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