i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
