WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She's the barista slut.
Green mimosas i think yes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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