Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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