I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think I sprained my soul last night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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