I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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