Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
