And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
