Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
