How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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