Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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