I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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