Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
