apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
