four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
