Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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