I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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