He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
