Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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