I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
