I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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