he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
