the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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