I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
