very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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