I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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