So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
