i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
it's like iHOP with fire
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
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