I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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