New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
