clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
