Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My ass is underappreciated
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
