Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
