You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
