Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
