Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize