He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
